


Rescue Me

by MyNameIsRochelleRae



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: Angst, Depression, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, One-Sided Attraction, Self-Harm, Suicide Attempt, Triggers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-26
Updated: 2015-02-26
Packaged: 2018-03-15 08:09:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,406
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3439832
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MyNameIsRochelleRae/pseuds/MyNameIsRochelleRae
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gavin knew that they were never meant to be, he knew that very well. It hurt him to see Michael and Lindsay together and he thought it best that he would never be part of the equation.<br/>Rescue me Michael, please, it hurts.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Rescue Me

**Author's Note:**

> This fanfic was inspired by two Tokio Hotel songs.  
> Rescue Me & Don't Jump by Tokio Hotel.
> 
> Do enjoy reading!

One cut, two cuts, three cuts, four. It no longer hurt like it used to. Seeing the blade cut into him, feeling the skin split apart and the blood well up, it allowed Gavin Free to see his pain trickle out. He looked at his work, seven cuts on his left arm, seven days have passed already. The salty tears that leaked from the corners of Gavin’s eyes fell onto the wounds that he inflicted upon himself, it stung but Gavin did not care. He looked up at the alarm clock on the table with misty eyes, 3am.  He knew he should sleep, he had work the next day. He had to face Michael Jones at work tomorrow. Gavin cried into his pillow.

Gavin woke up with deep eye bags under his eyes. He had a restless sleep, pulled in and out of reality by the quietest sounds. While asleep, he saw images of the red-headed man, Michael. But those were not happy images for Gavin. Sure Michael was smiling, but not at Gavin, he was smiling because his long-time girlfriend, Lindsay Tuggey, accepted his proposal. Gavin felt his heart fall again, every night for seven nights already, he had been dreaming about Michael proposing to Lindsay.

Gavin quickly washed up as he prepared for the work. He retrieved the first aid kit from his bedside drawer and cleaned his wounds. This time it stung even more and he winced. He would not have bandaged up the wounds if not for the fact that his workmates would be horrified to see the cuts on his wrist. I slipped and nicked my wrist on the edge of the coffee table, Gavin muttered under his breath, creating a lie about his wrist so his work mates would not be suspicious.

 

 

“My boi! What happened to your hand? Your eyebags too, trying to be a vampire eh Gavvy?” Michael’s eyes darted to the bandages on Gavin’s arm after Gavin entered the Achievement Hunter room. The rest of guys looked over, concern in their eyes.

“I slipped and nicked my wrist on the edge of my coffee table,” Gavin lied between his teeth and forced a sheepish smile.

“You pleb, you had me worried there for a second. You are that clumsy after all.” Michael laughed it off. The rest of the guys chuckled, knowing how clumsy Gavin can be. They were convinced that nothing was wrong with the man and went back to work. Michael’s eyes did not leave Gavin as he watch the Brit sit down at his desk. _He’s lying to me,_ Michael thought to himself _. I won’t push him to tell me if he doesn’t want to though, he’ll tell me on his own time._

 

 

\---

Gavin Free was shaking as he walked into the RoosterTeeth building, it was his first day and he did not know what to expect. He felt like he stood out like a sore thumb, everyone was American but him and his distinct British accent. Geoff Ramsey, Jack Patillo, Michael Jones, Ryan Haywood and Ray Narvaez Jr. were all sitting at the Achievement Hunter room, not all of them were official main crew yet but he knew that they were a good team.

The boys all turned to look when they heard the door open. Gavin felt his face grow warm as he immediately looked down, all of them were looking at him curiously. Burnie Burns, their boss introduced Gavin to the group, saying that he was officially hired to be a part of the Achievement Hunter crew. Gavin looked up and smiled at them, offering only a meek greeting. They all chuckled at him as they made him comfortable. No one else made him as comfortable as Michael had.

Gavin always found himself catching glances at the red-headed rage-filled man. He could not help himself as he soaked up the brilliance that was Michael Jones. He imagined his fingers entangled in the red curly mop of hair that Michael sported. He spent his time while not editing or filming counting the number of freckles Michael had peppered on his face. He wondered what it would be like to be kissing and suckling on the lush lips that Michael had. Gavin wanted nothing more than to touch Michael’s bare skin, feeling the lean muscles that Michael had spent time working on.

Gavin knew that they were never meant to be. Michael fell hard and fast in love with Lindsay Tuggey, another RoosterTeeth employee. Gavin was too enthralled by Michael to fall for anyone else. He knew that no one should ever know this secret. It would hurt the special relationship that he and Michael shared, it would throw a wrench in Michael and Lindsay’s relationship and it would make everything just that much harder to deal with _. It’s just enough being friends. It’s enough that I get to spend time with him at work, and we hang out sometimes too. Me and my boi, that’s enough_ , Gavin thought bitterly to himself. It was not enough but Gavin managed to delude himself into thinking that it was.

\---

 

 

The Achievement Hunter crew were filming an episode of Let’s Play Minecraft and as per usual Gavin fucks up and accidentally dumps lava all over the house that he and Michael built. He was ready for the barrage of insults coming his way, it was all for comedic appeal and it never actually hurt Gavin, but this time was different.

“Gavin you fuck, you steaming pile of turd, you fucking burnt our house down. I spent forever gathering the wood that we needed to build it.” Michael yelled, seething with anger.

“But my boi! It was an accident my boi!” Gavin raised his hands in real life in surrender.

“Fuck off Gavin, you’re an idiot!” Michael’s voice raised. “You always fuck up my shit!”

Gavin dropped his hands and felt tears well up in his eyes. He knew that Michael was only raging at him because he did something stupid in the game but he could not help but feel like Michael was talking about him in real life. That Gavin was an idiot and he always fucked up Michael’s shit. Gavin’s heart started to hurt at the thought of Michael abandoning him because he was an idiot.

“Ey Gavin, you alright over there? You’ve gone quiet.” Ray asked, again, all of them were staring at Gavin with concern in their eyes. He glanced at Michael with misty eyes, the red-headed man’s face was scrunched up with guilt. It made the tears that he was trying so hard to hold back roll down his cheeks.

“What, you think that little semgpot yelling at me will get me down?” Gavin quickly picked up the controller and continued the game, and gave a reassuring laugh, making sure not to face the rest of the guys. He glanced at Michael again, Michael saw his tears and it was plain in Michael’s eyes that he felt guilt. It’s okay, Gavin mouthed to Michael, giving a small smile.

 

 

“Hey Gavin, hey, you alright? I didn’t mean to hurt you just now.” Michael walked up to the Brit in the kitchen after they were done filming the episode.

“I’m fine you donut.” Gavin laughed to cover his hurt. He knew that Michael wasn’t convinced, he saw the flash of guilt in Michael’s eyes as he said that.

“Wanna go out for some bevs tonight? Just the two of us.” Michael asked, still feeling guilty over making Gavin cry earlier.

“What about Lindsay? Wouldn’t she mind?” Gavin quickly jumped at the opportunity, it had been a long time since they hung out together, just the two of them.

“Nah man, she’s busy planning the wedding and editing our videos.” Michael brushed it off. Gavin felt his heart die a little more when he heard Michael say wedding. He looked at his bandaged wrist, it’s been seven days.

Gavin agreed to go out with Michael for some drinks.

 

 

“Hey, bring me to that abandoned carpark again, the scenery is so pretty there. We can buy our drinks there.” Gavin smiled at Michael, it was their spot, their little secret. Michael nodded, buying a few bottles of beer and vodka from the liquor store before setting out to the abandoned carpark. It was a 15 min walk away from the liquor store. They were probably going to tear down that abandoned carpark and build a café there, what with the new trend of hipster cafes opening up in Texas.

They climbed up to the roof of the carpark and sat at the corner, looking through the rails at the twinkling lights of the buildings around the area. It was so peaceful, the wind blew and neither of them talked, afraid to ruin the mood. After a few bottles of beer and a bottle of vodka between the two, conversation finally started, both a little more than buzzed.

“So, marriage huh?” Gavin laughed bitterly, he could not stop himself from sounding so unhappy. He hoped that Michael was just drunk enough not to notice.

“Yeah man, marriage. I love her a lot, I can’t wait to be married to her.” Michael giggled after downing another beer. Gavin felt heartbroken and drank mouthfuls of the vodka. “What about you man, you haven’t dated anyone so far.”

“The person I want, I can’t have.” Gavin sighed into the vodka bottle. He felt the world tilt slightly, he was drunk.

“Yeah my boi? What’s this person like? Michael asked, halfway through another bottle of beer. His voice slurring together, he was drunk too.

“Beautiful. Red hair, brown eyes, a body to die for, the perfect package.” Gavin revealed and glanced at Michael.  Michael finished the bottle of beer, how may was it already? 4? 5? The vodka too, he was definitely drunk.

“You mean Meg?” Michael laughed as he looked at another beer bottle.

Gavin took Michael’s hand and pulled Michael toward him. Michael turned to face him, face just inches apart from one another. Gavin could smell alcohol on Michael’s breath. He could smell alcohol in his own breath. They were both drunk, so this was okay.

“No, I mean you.” Gavin whispered, looking at Michael straight in the eyes. Michael’s beautiful rich brown eyes were glazed over but still held Gavin’s stare well enough.

“What?” Michael stuttered. He started to sober up a little upon hearing the words.

“I love you, you mong, I always have.” Gavin confessed, moving closer to Michael’s face. He could feel Michael’s warm breath on his lips and he gently kissed Michael. Those lips he always dreamed of kissing were just as soft as he imagined. Was this all a dream? Gavin asked himself but quickly caught himself quickly and pulled away from Michael.

Michael looked at him, eyes no longer glazed over. He was all too sober now. They both looked at each other, Gavin was scared and Michael was confused.

“I’m sorry.” Gavin whispered, quickly getting up and walking away from Michael, going home. He felt tears sting at his eyes. As he ran out of the abandoned carpark to his home, he felt the hot tears spill down his face. He has never felt that embarrassed before. _I fucked it up didn’t I?_ Gavin thought to himself.

 

 

Gavin reached home and slumped into his bed. The tears still continued to run. _I shouldn’t have done that, kissed him, confessed to him. What will he think of me? And his relationship with Lindsay, because of me. I’m an idiot and I fucked it up._ Gavin cried into the pillow. He reached out and took the penknife from the bedside table, and carved idiot onto his thighs. _I’m nothing but a bloody idiot. I fucked it all up. Why couldn’t I just have kept all this to myself? Now I went and messed everything up. I’m an idiot._ Gavin thought to himself as he carved the words unto his legs. He stared at the words on his thighs till he fell into another night of restless sleep and upsetting images.

 Gavin woke up with a hangover, his head throbbed and he felt a constant urge to puke. He stumbled into the kitchen and made himself a cup of Earl Grey tea. It was a Saturday, he had no work to rush too. As the kettle was boiling, he checked his phone. Texts from Burnie inviting him to movie night in place of Game of Thrones night. Texts from Geoff to complete editing the Minecraft videos as soon as he could. Texts from Michael asking him about what happened. He decided to ignore all the texts. He head throbbed even more as he thought about the events that transpired the previous night.

Gavin worked on editing the videos they had made throughout the week and did not go out at all. He ignored all the invites from the gang and from anyone else. He was just not up for any invitations or any social events. For the two days, he drank cups of Earl Grey tea and worked on the videos, not using his phone or doing anything else.

 

 

 

One cut, two cuts, three cuts, four. It no longer hurt. Gavin never stopped cutting himself, and when there was no more space on his left arm, he moved to his right. His thighs were not spared either. One for every day that passed. He looked at his body in the mirror, there were many cuts on his arms and legs. Many days have passed, months. The reflection in the mirror was different from the man who stood in front of it months ago. The reflection showed nothing but skin and bones, the lean body had been starved away, his collarbone was jutting out and his ribcage was prominent. The scars that covered the man’s arms and legs were not a pretty sight. Gavin realised that it was his own reflection. The man with a weary face, deep purple eye bags, over pronounced jawline and a constant frown was him. _I’m a fucking idiot who messes things up. I even messed myself up._ Gavin laughed bitterly at his reflection.

He wore a long sleeved shirt and skinny jeans although it was well into summer at that point. Many of the members of RoosterTeeth and even the fans have been wondering why Gavin looked so unhealthy. Too skinny, too pale and too tired. Gavin would brush it off, said it was personal reasons but he is trying to take care of himself better. The Achievement Hunter main crew who spent the most time with him at work were constantly worried at that point. Everyone knew that there was something up with Gavin but they knew Gavin was keeping a tight lip about his issues. He would always just brush them off. It’s nothing, Gavin would smile at them, eyes looking broken. Michael was the most torn up about what happened. He tried to talk to Gavin about it, guessing that it was because of Gavin’s feelings. Gavin never directly talked about his issues, just said that it was something he had to deal with himself and that Michael did not have to worry about him. Don’t worry so much about me you donut, go worry about your wedding. Michael knew that Gavin was hurt about it.

 

\---

Monday rolled around, Gavin did not want to get out of bed, and he did not want to face Michael. He did a lot of editing and he went ahead of schedule but everything that he did was to get his mind off what happened. The kiss, the confession at their spot, the abandoned carpark.

He refused to make eye contact with Michael but easily fell into conversations with the other guys in the office, but eventually Gavin had to go to the kitchen for some water and he knew that Michael was trailing behind him. Gavin drew in a sharp breath and turned, ready to face Michael.

“So, uh, Friday night eh? Did you have fun?” Michael started, he opened the fridge door and looked for something to do.

“It was tippy toppers, but I forgot what happened later on. Must have been too drunk.” Gavin tried to laugh it off but they both knew that it did not work.

“What did you mean you love me?” Michael stepped closer to Gavin, volume lowered.

Gavin looked at Michael, not saying a word.

“Please Gavin, you’re my boi are you not, tell me the truth.” Michael begged.

“It’s true. I love you, I have always loved you since we met. I didn’t mean to reveal it on Friday. Just forget about it okay? I don’t want to ruin our friendship or your marriage. Lindsay is an amazing girl and she’s perfect for you.” Gavin sighed. He wanted to run away.

“I… I’m sorry.” Michael tried to apologise. Gavin did not understand why.

“For what?” Gavin’s voice grew softer, sadder.

“For hurting you. I don’t mind that you love me in that way but I know it hurts you. I don’t want you to be hurt, you’re my best friend. I was going to ask you something but I think it would hurt you even more.” Michael explained, voice uncertain. Gavin wanted to cry.

“It’s okay Michael, I’m the one to blame anyway. I’m the idiot who’s messing things up. What did you want to ask me anyway?” Gavin tried to hide the sadness in his voice. He tried to smile at Michael, but they both knew it for naught.

“I’ll wait to tell you.” Michael tried to pat Gavin on the back, his way of comforting his best friend, but he did not do it. He was afraid he would hurt Gavin even further.

From then on, things changed in the relationship. They did not spend as much time with each other, for the next few months, they have not gone out with one another alone. They spent far less time together, even at work, only during PlayPals do they spend time together. They spoke lesser to one another and it made Gavin more and more upset. They still spoke to one another through text but not as much face-to-face.

\---

 

 

Gavin returned to the abandoned carpark on the weekend. The twinkling lights from the buildings around made the site so gorgeous. _If only I could just stay here from now on, waking up to this scene would be so amazing._ Gavin mused to himself. He stood at the ledge, arms stretched open, letting the wind blow past him. He looked down, he was on the roof of the carpark, 5 floors up. _Imagine if I just jumped right now. I would stop becoming a burden to everyone. Everyone in the room would stop worrying so much about me, asking me to eat more, asking me to sleep more. They can focus on themselves. Michael can focus on supporting Lindsay for the wedding. I would stop being a burden to everyone around me. Imagine if I just jumped off now._ Gavin did not jump, but the thought remained in his head.

 

 

Gavin started to feel warm from the Texas heat and tried to remove his sweater but as he pulled the sweater above his head, the t-shirt he was wearing also came off. He heard gasps from the room and he quickly wore his long sleeved shirt. It was too late. Everyone else saw it. Saw his body. Saw the wounds. No one said anything but their eyes did not leave Gavin. The office was completely quiet except for the occasional clicks and typing on the keyboard. The door opened and everyone looked at the Michael who had just returned from the kitchen. Michael felt the tension in the room as he stepped in, he said nothing but looked at the rest of the guys. All of them threw glances at Gavin and Gavin looked at his screen blankly.

“What… What happened?” Ray quietly asked. Everyone was staring at Gavin, Michael was worried. Everyone could see the state that Gavin was in. He was so skinny, never seen eating at work and he looked like he barely gets winks of sleep at night. Gavin knew it was useless trying to evade it, everyone but Michael saw it.

“It’s nothing really. I’ll get over it. Please don’t worry about me.” Gavin spoke quietly to the screen. His tears hit the table top and the rest of the boys decided not to pursue the matter but their eyes never left him.

 

 

 

“Michael, you should have seen it. His body, he’s hurting himself. You can see his bones jumping out of his skin and the scars, the terrible scars…” Ryan started. Gavin went to the kitchen for a drink and as he came back, he heard voices from the room and stood outside the door to listen to what they were talking about.

“Scars?” Michael’s voice was laced with confusion and a slight edge of fear.

“All over both his arms. Cuts, so many cuts.” Ray continued, Gavin could hear the sadness in his voice. Michael did not say anything.

“You’ve got to do something, the fans are starting to worry. We are starting to worry. You’re his best friend, he will listen to you. You have to help him.” Geoff spoke up, his voice desperate. Michael still said nothing. Gavin felt terrible, he was being a burden to them, to the company. He gets tweets by fans asking if he was okay every day and people from the company would also come up to him and tell him that they were worried about him. Gavin felt terrible for causing so much trouble for everyone. He thought about the abandoned carpark, he thought about jumping again.

Gavin decided to walk into the room, making sure to open the door slowly so they knew he was coming in. They were standing in a circle, faces tight with worry.

“You donuts, having a little meeting without me?” Gavin tried to cut through the tension in the room. They gave small fake chuckles and went back to their respective desks, eyes never leaving Gavin. Gavin never heard them speaking about it again. He thought about the abandoned carpark, _maybe if I did it, they will never have to worry again._

 

 

 

No one in the office spoke about the incident after that day but he knew they were still deeply concerned. They started inviting him to go out with them for lunch, dinner, for beverages. Even invited him to stay the night. Michael started to spend more time with him, sometimes even ignoring his date night with Lindsay. It’s okay, Lindsay won’t mind, she knows I also need to make time for my little boi, he would say when Gavin asked.

Gavin and Michael spent a lot of time together. Enough that Gavin started to feel better, he started to eat a little more, started to smile a little more, cut himself a little less. _Maybe this is okay, it’s okay that he is not in love with me. He spends all this time with me, he talks to me, he plays with me. This is enough._ Gavin thought to himself as he slept, smiling. He knew it was not enough, he just deluded himself once again into thinking it was okay. The fans slowly stopped being so worried, the rest of the company stopped coming up to him asking if he was okay. The guys in the office stopped looking so concerned, their eyes no longer on Gavin. The tension and concern in the room was no more. Gavin stopped thinking about the carpark, he stopped thinking about jumping. _This is okay now. I’m okay now._ The harder he tried to hide it, the harder he would fall, but he did not know that yet.

“My boi, I want to ask you something pretty big.” Michael started as they both sat on Gavin’s couch playing Destiny. Gavin scooted slightly closer to Michael, the latter did not move away. He was used to Gavin being close to him.

“What is it?” Gavin asked, head on Michael’s shoulder. _This is okay, this is enough._

“I want you to be my best man.” Michael’s voice uncertain.

“Your what?” Gavin sat up, body tense. He fell hard.

“You pleb, don’t you know what a best man does? You help me choose a tux, plan the bachelor party, keep the ring safe with you, make a speech.” Michael laughed, he did not realise that Gavin was upset. Gavin swallowed the lump in his throat and blinked back the tears.

“Of course I’ll be your lovely little best man. I’ll be your bestest man.” Gavin laughed. He felt his heart shatter. He thought about the carpark. _It’s not enough._

 

 

Gavin waited till midnight to start writing the letter. He knew it would be too hard for him to deal with the marriage. _One-sided love can be so painful, especially when the other party knows and still treats you like their best friend. I can’t handle this. I want him to love me back, I want him to love me the way I love him. I thought it would be okay, just being his best friend, I thought I could hold it back. I could slowly start to forget him, find another person to love, someone who will love me back. Maybe it’s better if I just too myself out of the equation. Michael would not have to worry about, spending time with me out of pity, he could love Lindsay without feeling guilt. The rest of the guys, the fans, they would not have to see me suffer like this. Everyone will be better off without me. But I don’t want this. Rescue me, Michael._ Gavin cried into the paper, leaving tear stains on the letter.

 

Gavin went early to the office, before anyone else saw him, he quickly taped the letter to his screen and went to the abandoned carpark.

**Dear all,**

**I’m sorry this might seem tragic to all of you. I can’t keep living a lie like this, convincing myself that everything will be fine. I’m tired of it. Coming to work, acting like I’m okay. I’m not and it hurts. My heart feels broken, and my mind is covered in the shadows, I can’t handle it anymore.**

**You saw the scars on my arms, you saw the condition that I was in. It hurts less when I cut myself, it hurts less when I see the blood flow out of me. It hurts less because it hurts in a different way. The physical pain I feel covers up the emotional pain I am suffering from. Maybe it’s just excuses and I’m just a fucked up mess, but I thought it helped, it didn’t. I’m sorry that you had to see me like that, I’m sorry for being a burden to all of you, forgive me. But now I have decided to stop, perhaps this is for the best that I leave like this. You all will forget about me and stop worrying about me. It would be better that way.**

**Forgive me for being selfish, but I just need to let Michael know something. I love you and I will love you forever, but forget about me and everything will be better. I will be able to leave without any regrets. Love Lindsay as much as I loved you. This is my SOS, the only chance to let you know what I feel, I hope you read this. Are you reading this?**

**Please…**

**Come and rescue me.**

**Michael, rescue me. It hurts.**

**I’m hiding in our secret place alone.**

**Rescue me.**

 

 

Gavin quickly walked to the abandoned carpark and sat back against the rails like on that Friday night that should never have happened. It was still early, about 7 in the morning, an hour before work would start. He saw the little inscription on the floor, he wrote his name and Michael’s together, like a high schooler carving their names on a tree. He laughed bitterly at it. The wind blew calmly, Gavin noticed. _I wish I could be that calm._

Gavin just sat there, thinking back to all the happy times. He made his first slow mo video with Dan Gruchy, his best friend in his home town. His video was featured on The Tonight Show. Working on Youtube Rewind 2013 with Dan. Officially becoming a member of Achievement Hunter. Meeting all the guys, meeting Michael Jones. He smiled at the thought of his lovely Michael. The hurried footsteps that he heard pulled him out his memories. Gavin opened his eyes to see Michael run up to him. The rest of the guys were hot on his tails, Ray was gripping the letter tightly in his hand.

“Stop!” Gavin cried out, he got up. The guys all stopped, fear in their eyes. Michael had tears welling up in his eyes. Gavin climbed over the railing, his feet barely finding purchase on the ledge. He was still facing them, all of them had tears in their eyes.

“Okay, slow there Gavin. Please, just look at me.” Michael stepped forward, one small step. His voice broke. Gavin started to cry.

“Gavin…” Michael mouthed. Gavin looked at the ground, watching his tears falling down. Each one a promise of everything he never found. He let one hand go. Michael ran forward.

“Please don’t.” Michael knew better then to grab Gavin and instead leaned his head on Gavin’s. Gavin reached out to touch Michael’s face. “Don’t make it true. Please don’t jump.”

“Why?” Gavin asked, voice broken and soft. Gavin looked directly into Michael’s eyes.

“The lights will not guide you through, they’re deceiving you.” Michael whispered.

“I’m burning, can’t you see? Let me go. Let me jump. It will be better off that way. You don’t love me anyway, and I would stop being a burden to everyone.” Gavin sobbed quietly.

“Please… Gavin… I do love you, you’re my best friend, more than that, you’re like a brother I never had. I know that’s not what you want, but I can promise you I’ll never abandon you. I never have, have I? I never will either. Sure I’ll be married to Lindsay, but you’ll always be my boi. Only you.” Michael’s voice was thick with tears. “Don’t let memories go, of me and you, please. Don’t jump.”

“Michael…” Gavin could not even look at Michael, his eyes were too filled with tears. _Maybe this is enough, he promised that he’ll never abandon me. I’m his boi right? I don’t want to see him hurt anymore. I don’t want any of them to get hurt because of me._

“And if all that can’t hold you back, I’ll jump for you.” Michael’s voice lowered.

“Michael, no…” Gavin hugged Michael with his one free hand. “Help me back up, I won’t jump, just don’t cry anymore.”

Michael quickly pulled Gavin off from the ledge and hugged him. The rest of the boys collectively heaved a sigh of relief and walked towards the two, eyes misty with tears. They let the two boys hug it out.

“You won’t abandon me?” Gavin asked.

“No Gavvy, you’re my boi as much as I am yours. And lovely little bois won’t abandon each other right?” Michael sobbed into Gavin’s shoulder.

Gavin extended the hug to the rest of the guys, they quickly included themselves in the group hug. Gavin slowly apologised to all of them for making them worry and they rejected his apology. As long as you’re okay, that’s enough and you’re not a burden on us Gavin, you never were and you won’t be. We’re here for you. All of them comforted the Brit and he felt slightly better. They left the abandoned carpark and walked back to the RoosterTeeth building. Gavin looked at the names on the floor and decided that he would get better now, for himself, for the fans, for the company, for the workmates he called his friends, for Michael.

 

_This is okay. I am okay. He may not love me the way I want him to love me, but he does. He promised to never leave me, and that, that is enough. I knew we were never meant to be, but as long as I can be with you like this, this is enough. I love you Michael._

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! 
> 
> Forgive me if there are any spelling/grammar errors, do leave comments and constructive criticisms for me!


End file.
